things i like and things i don't like lately

I thought I'd just make myself clear once and for all.

so, here you go.

things I don't like: messy rooms (seriously boyfriend, stop it because messy rooms are the reason for gray hairs), cold weather (at least not in March okay), hangovers, shitty runs, ingrown fingernails (yes, FINGER nails...what is wrong with me? It's probably because I cut them too short but they gross me out otherwise...), being sick with the plague (or the flu or whatever...same thing), people that give me attitude for no reason, burning my tongue with my coffee, low-fat peanut butter (seriously what the heck is that crap boyfriend?), people that don't understand the concept of "me time," missing my puppy, my dad texting me pictures of sunny Israel when I'm freezing over here in Antarctica, not speaking Arabic in a room full of Egyptians (I know how to say "dog," does that count?), almost having a heart attack because I was stupid and turned in all my assignments for this class in the wrong place and therefore had a zero for the semester (it's fixed now thank God), Syracuse University basketball as of late especially when I decide to wear a Syracuse sweatshirt in UConn territory, being in serious need of a haircut because the ends of my hair look like an old broomstick right now, 50 Shades of Gray...

things I like: this store called Blue Moon because they sell pretty elephants and rings and evil eyes and hamsas, good writing days, good runs, Starbucks, cancer packets also known as Splenda (SORRY SORRY I DON'T KNOW WHY SPLENDA TASTES SO GOOD TO ME...help me quit...one time my dad told me I was going to grow a third leg or something), goat cheese, discovering that I can eat spinach so yay I can have salads (if you're new around these parts, it turns out that I'm allergic to lettuce which is the strangest thing ever), cute sweaters for more than 50 percent off, pedicures, massages, Long Island iced teas, my boyfriend's sister (and my boyfriend too I guess), my sister when she texts me back, St. Patrick's Day parades, reading a book in like two days, clean rooms, my new watch, naps...oh and Alyssa Arminio.

obviously I need to work on my life since my "things I don't like" list seems longer.

but in any case, that was really cathartic. You should do it too.

things i've learned in the past year

...things that I should've learned a long time ago.

I'm doing 12 things. For 2012. '12, get it?

You must be really dumb if you don't.

{1} I am a terribly flawed human being (aren't we all?), which I already knew, of course, but what I did not know was that my flaws are not that I am unlovable or fat or a failure. My flaws are that I am insecure, that I take things out on people that do not deserve it, that I am overly sensitive (which is sometimes good, sometimes bad), and that I have no patience to speak of. Which are all problems I should work on, and, you know, try to fix. At least a little bit. Especially the part about taking things out on others, because that's just not very nice. Also, I should watch my language. You know, in front of the child (i.e. Simba).

{2} A year and a half ago I did not think I could say this, but I am okay without my mother. Better off, in fact. Infinitely happier and more confident.

{3} there is no way that I do not have trichotillomania. No way. At least, like, mildly. And it needs to stop. Tips?

{4} the world is beautiful, but it can also be a very, very ugly place. Therefore, it is our responsibility to support and promote things like peace, human rights, clean energy, etc. I feel strongly about this. If we don't do it, who will? (That said, if the Mayans were correct and the world is indeed coming to an end, well, then, who cares.)

{5} feeling "fine" does not mean I can get off my medication without a doctor's supervision. DO NOT DO IT. STOP DOING IT. WHEN WILL I LEARN MY LESSON? Good God.

{6} and on that note, do not ever ever take medication that was not prescribed to you, especially if you have never taken it before and have no idea how you will react to it (not the sharpest tool in the shed, am I? Is that how that saying goes?)

{7} I've always had an irrational fear of being a terrible mom like mine was. Of being incapable of loving my children. But now I know that would never happen, because judging by how much I love Simba, I cannot even imagine how obsessed I would be with an actual future child.

{8} running is the best, and I have no idea why I ever hated it.

{9} it's about high time I come to terms with the fact that I missed the boat when it comes to gymnastics. My body is not healthy. I cannot do it anymore. Too bad.

{10} all I've ever wanted to do was write -- why deny myself this love for writing for fear of failing? Ridiculous.

{11} do not ever plan out your life in a neatly curated timeline. It won't happen that way. Things will change. I guarantee you that it is written in the stars that they will. And at first you might agonize over it, cry over it, struggle over it, but here's the exciting truth: it always, always is all for the best. Bigger and better things, kids. Bigger and better things.

{12} people change. For better and for worse. And that's okay. Life is not stagnant. It just is.*

*how Zen is that!?

my top 10 college moments

time has been absolutely flying lately. Like, seriously speeding 90 in a 60. I recently applied for my graduation diploma (what!), and it's making me seriously nostalgic. Although I was sick (and depressed, unfortunately) last year, I have to say that Syracuse University is where I really found myself for the first time in my life. So...I bring you, my top 10 college moments (thus far):

{1} Marathon, freshman year. The drama kids here all live in the same house, which they've dubbed Marathon, and throw the most outrageous parties. This was one of the first nights in which I felt like I finally had a group of friends at college, and I just had a fabulous time. I also remember attempting some sort of ballet kick (really, I was just showing off for some fabulously flamboyant drama kid) and landing right on my ass. Photographic evidence below.

{2} iHop at 5 a.m., freshman year. Back when my boyfriend went to school here, and we had just started dating (ah, young love?), we would stay up all night talking and making frequent trips to iHop at 5 a.m. I have to say that Mike singlehandedly rid myself of any remaining eating disordered food fears, and also, the way I ate, I'm surprised I only gained the freshman five.

{3} Halloween and my awesome hippie costume, freshman year. It was here that I learned Halloween is an all-weekend affair in the world of college. Also, I still wear that tie dye t-shirt to sleep.

{why yes, at one point in time I was stupid enough to go blonde...yuck}

{4} Mayfest, freshman year. Probably the best day of my life spent with one of my very best friends, Alex, and her friends. The bar by which all future parties are measured.

{5} Cancun with Mike, freshman year. Drinking Supermans and Bob Marleys at the bar (hey, I was legal in Cancun) and having an entire bar filled with rowdy college men buying me beers and trying to teach me how to burp (unsuccessfully). What can I say? My body is incapable of burping...

{6} the gay bar, freshman year. So. Much. Fun.

{7} Naked people, sophomore year. One time, while partying at Alex's apartment, she yelled, "I love Kid Cudi!" and I replied, much too enthusiastically, "Me too! I love naked people!"

{8} the night that shall remain between Mike, Julie, Mina, and I, sophomore year. There was peeing and there was streaking and it was quite possibly the best night of my life.

{9} my birthday party, sophomore year. It was perfect.

{10} the night Ryan hid in the closet, junior year. Heh. Heh. Heh.

...do I really have to graduate or can I just stay here for the rest of my life?*

*just kidding...I want to make the most of this year, but I'm also a teensy bit ready to move on to the next stage of my life.

10 things i've learned in my 21 years of life

{1} never go off medication without a doctor's supervision, especially an anti-depressant. I learned this lesson the hard way. Twice.

{2} breaks are okay, sometimes good, even, as long as everyone agrees not to sleep with the girl from the copy store (Friends reference, anyone?).

{3} senioritis hits you in college, too, but you should really get over yourself, especially if you are thinking about going to grad school.

{4} I am a better writer than I think I am, so I should just keep writing.

{5} I will forever be unsatisfied with my nose if it is not pierced.

{6} it's okay to not be the best at everything. It's okay to not be the best at anything.

{7} even though I tend not to feel comfortable in group praying situations (e.g. synagogue, church, etc.), it's always good to find a quiet place to meditate or pray.

{8} the only thing really worth going broke for are experiences, such as traveling -- never material things.

{9} some people are just not worth getting aggravated over.

{10} exercise is good for the soul (running! Yoga!). Too much exercise is bad for the soul.

things that make me happy, v. i

I've been in a pretty foul mood these past two days (except for a few moments of coffee-induced euphoria), so instead of writing a long, rant-y post about my greatest faults and shortcomings as a person (of which I have many, I assure you...), I have decided to list a few things that are making me happy as of late. Deal?

{so I've been meaning to take photos with a real camera, but I cannot, for the life of me, find my DSLR battery, my instax mini is sadly broken, and I do not have any polaroid film...so instagram it is for now. Follow me at @debbiele03 if you wish! But I'm not that interesting...I mostly post pictures of Simba because I am one of those mothers that is convinced her child is the greatest in the world.}

{1} my new elephant mug! I found the coolest store in Hartford with handmade objects from all around the world, all from developing countries. I could've been in there all day. I love stuff like that -- way more than I love, say, thrifting, actually.

{2} feeling surprisingly un-overwhelmed by the future. This doesn't happen often, so I guess I will milk it while it lasts. I am just starting to feel that things will work out one way or another, and right now I really do not have much control over anything other than how hard I've been working to make my dreams happen, so what use is worrying, really?

{3} I slept nine hours last night! Admittedly, I took Nyquil because I am sick, but still...

{4} a fellow classmate telling me that they really loved a story I wrote after the professor (figuratively, not literally) ripped it to shreds.

{5} the fact that after 21 years of life, I am finally able to enjoy a hot cup of coffee. I don't understand why I ever hated it before.

{6} getting a job that I am really excited about (I get to write! About the things I love!)! I mean, how many people can say that about their college job, really?

{7} finally figuring out what to do with my hair so that I can trick people into thinking that it has volume. Groundbreaking stuff, people.

{8} the fact that Simba will be neutered soon. Yes. I really can't deal with this any longer. Psh, teenage boys.

{9} today, instead of listening to I Heart Radio on my morning run, I put Beyonce on shuffle. IT WAS THE BEST DECISION OF MY LIFE.

{10} starting a new book. Hopefully my brain will not be too mushy by the end of each day to read, because that tends to happen with college.