so yes. It makes no sense. I'm a huge wimp. I'm afraid of everything: big things, like failure and losing loved ones, and dumb things, like being fat and fire (e.g. lighting a match...I only just learned how to light a lighter like, three weeks ago. As a kid, I freaking hated having to light the Hanukah candles). Even though mental illness fascinates me (I guess I'm a sick, sick person?), dissociative identity disorder (read: multiple personality disorder) scares the living shit out of me, ever since I watched the movie Sybil and had to endure hours upon hours of one of Sybil's alter-egos, Peggy's ramblings. That was some freaky crap. Actually, just yesterday, my roommate Jessica was watching another movie, Session 9, and I happened to walk in right when one of the characters was listening to an old tape recording of a woman diagnosed with DID, and as soon as I heard the voice of one of her alters (without knowing what the movie was even about, mind you), I was like, HOLYSHITISTHATSYBIL!?!?
yeah. I'm afraid of everything. Rats. Rodents in general. Ugh. And then tonight, when I took Simba out to potty, some bastard asshole dressed in a horse mask freaked me out. I'm like absolutely the worst person to have with you in a scary situation, because I'll probably just have a panic attack and leave you to fend for yourself.
but I love Halloween! Ooh, I love it. I love the candy that I never really eat and dressing up in clever costumes and watching scary thrillers like Shutter Island. I love reminiscing and watching Are You Afraid of the Dark? (which still scares me...oops).
I love Halloween, even though the smell and taste of pumpkins make me gag.
this year, for the first time ever, I was nothing (zilch, nada) for Halloween (I know, I know). But perhaps I haven't blown my chance yet; isn't it "Halloweek" this year instead of "Halloweekend"? Right? That's what I thought.