"so after I quit gymnastics, I started binging and the gardener would look at me through the window and I f*cking hated it, like stop looking at me through the window when I'm binging."
"that's such a rich person story."
"what do you mean?"
"like, oh you know, I was binging and the gardener saw me through the window."
{yeah, so obviously binging is not funny, but sometimes you just have to laugh at yourself, you know?}
"didn't you ever hear of Elian and the dolphins?"
"the what?"
"the kid from Cuba whose boat sank from Cuba on the way to Miami, and then he was rescued by dolphins."
"there are no dolphins in that body of water."
"really? There's no dolphins by Florida? I swear that's what the story was."
"oh, I thought you were talking about the Titanic."
"as a writer, I always like to think that you get to use one exclamation point during your career. Do you really want to use it up while you're still a student?"
{not particularly funny, per se, or not funny at all, really, but I thought it was a powerful way to put it. Or maybe I am just too obsessed with becoming a writer}
"quick, knock on wood! We have to knock on wood every time we compliment Simba, cause you never know."
...um. That was lame. Only four quotes? Clearly I need to work on my quote collecting abilities these days.
I really hope I haven't used up my exclamation point in my 'career'.
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