#fail

what's that?
how was Myrtle Beach, you ask?
well. It wasn't.

after a little (I kid, a major) hiccup with the airline, we decided it wasn't worth to stick out a 12-hour (I only slightly exaggerate) flight delay for a two-day trip. So. With much further ado (read: with many further obstacles that I have no desire to describe in detail because I might just tear my hair out), we decided to rent a car (do you know how expensive that is? I really had no idea!) and road trip it to Montauk, where we drank to our hearts' content (our bartender was quite heavy handed, and also, a very friendly drunk that insisted everything was "on the house"), got sick (me, to my stomach, of course), ate pizza, got sick again (me, to my stomach, again), and then could not, for the life of us, find a motel with a vacancy.

never mind the motel; as we drove around aimlessly in hopes that we would find somewhere to stay, my throat closed up. I couldn't breathe. An allergic reaction to...cheese? I couldn't tell you. But I can tell you that cheese is evil indeed (yes, it is delicious, but tastes can be deceiving, you see), since apparently not only does it cause me gut-wrenching stomach pain (pun totally intended), but I may or may not be allergic. Luckily, we found a gas station with Benadryl, and all was (sort of) good in the world again.

we did find a sleazy motel eventually. In the woods. The owner was a first rate creeper. We slept with the light on, lest he try to kill us in our sleep.

{I have always wanted to use the word "lest" in a sentence. Did I do it right? No? Well, thanks for raining on my parade then}

we spent Sunday morning wandering around East Hampton and visiting Rich People Stores. Eventually we did decide to come home early (meh), as my stomach and I are not friends at the moment. I am now making a commitment to living healthier - the way I'm going lately, I'm worried I'll need a bowel transplant by the time I'm 25.

New York City's welcome back gift to us? A torrential downpour that may or may not have ruined Mike's favorite Cole Haan shoes (we love you too, New York...nawt). What can I say; the kid's got style.