dog shaming

I always vowed not to be that mother that shamed her children in public -- or on the internet, obviously. But guys, I have to do it. I just have to. I have a story about Simba that is just too good not to share.

{I hope that he will learn to forgive me someday, and I pray to the dog gods that he will not be scarred for life. He's a good kid -- puberty and all. Dropping balls make for one crazy little puppy. Ask my roommates. Or his bed, which unfortunately has been on the receiving end of most of the humping.}

for the past two days, my little man has been constipated. Which is kind of nice, actually, because it means that I hardly ever have to pick up poop. Except, sadly, this also causes me so much anxiety because if he doesn't poop when I take him outside, I start hyperventilating, thinking that maybe he didn't have to go just then, but he'll certainly have to go later, when he's on my bed. You know, I've got white sheets. I think my anxiety is perfectly justified.

anyway, tonight after dinner, I took him out for his usual walk. I thought he'd for sure have to go, since he didn't this morning.

oh, he had to go all right.

{this is about to get graphic.}

in fact, he squatted for a good 30 minutes, straining his little body, a turd very visibly stuck inside his butt.

after a few minutes of this, we got an audience.

frat boys. Girls coming back from the gym. Couples. Everyone.

"come on little dude, you got it!" the frat boys cheered.

it was the most mortifying and most hilarious moment of my life. I'm laughing now, writing about it.

once he finally finally pooped (you guys, 30 minutes later! I had to go to class!), the poor dog got a standing ovation.

a freaking standing ovation!

and judging by the frantic tail-wagging and tongue-licking, I daresay Simba liked it.