Wednesday, February 20, 2013

s.o.s.

so obviously my biggest flaw is that I am horribly insecure. Basically I think everything I do sucks. But really. I'm afraid people secretly hate me and that I am fat (apparently four-plus years post-eating disorder this is still an issue) and that I am not smart and that I am a bad mom to Simba and most of all I am so terrified that my writing sucks.

so terrified. The fear is paralyzing at times, which is embarrassing to admit.

especially when it comes to fiction because really no one has ever read my fiction that much. And I want to put it out there so that people will give me feedback but I am scared.

how do I get over this?

for the first time in my life I am hopelessly in love with the novel that I am writing right now but I can't force myself to show it to anyone because I'm worried it's actually terrible and I am crazy and not talented at all.

help.


5 comments:

  1. Sign up for a writing class or workshopping group. I find showing my work to strangers easier than showing it to people I know at first. Once you do it once, it gets easier. ALSO recognize that you are doing a scary thing! Give yourself credit, it's okay to be scared, being scared about writing a novel is TOTALLY NORMAL. YOU ARE NOT A WEIRDO! Writing a novel is really, really hard and will make you feel vulnerable no matter what. If you weren't scared about it, I'd be worried. Sounds like you're doing everything right to me. Don't give up!

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  2. hm.

    to be honest, one of the most powerful tools for overcoming the fear of sharing IS sharing. you are able to see your words from other perspectives and, from that, you're better able to communicate whatever message you want. it's empowering. my love, i know it's not simple, but as long as you believe in your words, you're golden. there will be a confidence there that is easy to see. deep down i KNOW you know you are a brilliant, lovely writer with words people need to hear. hold onto that and proper humility and forget all else. that voice telling you you're not good is not a good thing to listen to. listen to people's reactions, instead.

    i don't know why you deleted that passage, either. it was really good. and i didn't get the chance to write: WELL DONE, MISS. i am proud of you. feel free to send it to me, too. i'd love to read it but i understand if you don't want me to :)

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    Replies
    1. my friend Maddy made me brave --> http://hannahdebbieblogs.blogspot.com/p/excerpt-from.html

      :)

      thank you so much for everything. Love you!

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